5. Practitioner's Podcast: The 1st Disciple Making Meeting
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Today's episode is perfect for any disciple maker who is wondering what to do in the first. Meeting of discipling someone like the first meeting. Justin, maybe we should clarify that a little bit more. Yes, we definitely need to clarify this because we're talking about the first meeting and a lot of times you could think, Well, which first meeting is this?
The meeting where I'm meeting the person and explaining to them what disciple making is and kind of inviting them into that relationship. Is that the meeting after that when I'm asking them or you know, those meetings don't even have to be meetings. A lot of times they're just convers. We're not talking about either one of those, , but if you wanna know about those.
So how do you invite someone into a disciple making relationship? We covered that in season one, episode 11, so if you want to go back there, that might be helpful. Today we're talking about the first disciple making meeting. So you've already had the conversation. You've explained what disciple being is.
You've invited them into it, and now you are going to this meeting. To sit down with the person, you're gonna start discipling and it's like the first time. Okay. And so what do you do in that space? And that's where we are today. That's what we're talking about. And this is super important for any disciple maker out there, whether you're a new disciple maker or somebody who's really experienced in disciple making.
The first meeting is super important. Tony, why is it important? Well, I think it's important to understand that when somebody comes into a disciple making relationship, there's a couple of things that are at play, specifically things that are at play. Emotionally for the person, right? There, they're feeling very vulnerable, they're feeling unsure, and in our culture, it's really.
Just out of the norm to submit to someone's teaching in a one-on-one environment. So disciple making doesn't always fit in the culture that we live in. So as we enter into that first meeting, what we need to do is make sure that we're being intentional about calling out the things that feel weird about it, that we're being.
Very responsive to the person, right? And we don't take that cookie cutter approach to how we make disciples and how we enter into that very first kind of disciple making relationship. Yeah, that's exactly right. And not only are the disciples feeling a little bit kind of trying to figure out what this is gonna be and what it's gonna.
A lot of times disciple makers show up with that nervous energy too, right? Especially if you're not naturally relational. If you're not very experienced in disciple making, , if you're walking in and you realize you should have more of a plan than you have walking in, there's gonna be some nerves. And so, , you know, we're gonna walk through, , in this episode I'm gonna share with you one thing that, that I'd done, and actually the last time I had a first time meeting, what I did, , which wasn't long ago.
And then Tony's gonna do something similar. But here's something you need to know. You need to know that even though it's the first meeting, whether it's a one-on-one, one on two, one on three, unless you've already agreed upon a book that you're moving through or something like that. So if you're doing.
What I would call more relational disciple, making less reliance upon a tool such as curriculum or a Bible study or something like that. You're gonna need to walk in with a plan. Now, your plan might be different for this first time than it was for last term, first time, and actually I think it ought to be, Yeah, I think it ought to be different, right?
Because when it's the first time you're discipling this person, so even if you have discipl. 50 people in the past, this is the first time you've discipled this person or these couple of people. And so you just have to keep that in mind as you're walking in. You're not walking into something you've done before.
You're walking into something new, something different. And if you're doing it like you did it before, then it's not gonna be focused on who they are. It's just not gonna be quite as relational. And I, I think we see this played out perfectly in the way that Jesus calls the disciples, right? We know.
Matthew four 19 when Jesus calls the fishermen to drop their nets. But the way that Jesus calls Matthew, the tax collector is different and the relationship is different. And so we can have collective unity around the idea of disciple making around the vision of disciple making, but the execution on how we get there is gonna be different for every person.
Think about. Versus Peter, or think about Paul's conversion versus the other disciples and how this all plays out in scripture. Jesus understands that we're all here for the same vision and mission, but how we approach people looks completely different. Tony, That's a great point because Jesus doesn't relate with us in the uniform cookie cutter way.
Right? He relates to us based on who we are, how he's designed us, and that's really, if we're going to be like Jesus as we disciple people, we have to do that too. And so I'm not suggesting that. You have to create, recreate the wheel every time, right? There's gonna be some principles that hold true that's gonna help have really some tracks for you to run on.
But within that kind of, , within that framework, there's some freedom and some variation. And you have to be willing to have that if people are going to experience it as relational and not just, A program they're moving through, or a curriculum that you've done a million times and this is just a million first time that you've done it with a person, right?
Nobody wants to feel like you're just doing the thing that you always do with everybody else, right? People want to feel, and we're made to feel like we are individuals and we want to be treated as such, , not only in disciple making, but just in general. Yeah, I think it's, it's really good to have a couple of go-to tools that you use and have a plan.
Now, I, I'm relational, We've kind of talked about this probably too much, but I'm super relational. Justin is super intentional. Mm-hmm. , and so I have to be overly prepared. Intentionally because the relational side's gonna come easy for me. By the time that I get to this meeting with the guys that I'm discipling, I generally know most of their story already.
I generally know most of their stuff, Right. We've connected, I've texted, we've chatted, we've done a little bit of things together. So a, a great example is the last guy that I discipled, he was kind of. New to the faith in the sense that he didn't have a familiarity with scripture. So I had a plan about which tool that I was gonna use for scripture and how we were gonna approach it.
And for this particular individual, it was reading the gospels. And so we decided to set out and read the gospels. But in order to do that, I used some of my experience. To kind of come in with a plan and talk about how we were gonna approach the gospels, why the gospels matter, and how he could approach the gospels with somebody when he discipled them.
Because we're constantly casting that vision right now, that we're in the mode of disciple making. I'm not just teaching him so that he knows I'm teaching him so that he can teach someone. Hm. That's great. So when you did that with him, Tony, , you, you brought up that topic. Hey, let's jump into the gospels.
You're talking about the importance of scripture. , you talked about just now about how you want him to be doing that with somebody else. Was that a part of the conversation too, or what did that look like or when did it become a part of the conversation? Well, so even before we got into the meeting, we had already talked about the idea that I meet with people when we understand, , with the understanding.
When we both think that he's ready, he'll meet with someone else. Mm-hmm. . And so I kind of couch all of my meetings in that vision. Yep. And I'll constantly remind him of that along the way. Like, Hey, you know, when you go and do this with someone else, or like, I, it's in sales. We used to call it the assumptive close.
Okay. And I know we don't like that in church world, but that's really what it is. Constantly reminding him that the fullness of this process is when he shares it with someone else. Hmm. And so I'm trying to prep him for his first meeting at our first meeting. Hmm. Wow. I love that. Right. So right from the start, you're thinking about the end.
Yeah. Right. And you're preparing him for that and moving him towards that. , that is really, really cool. So before I share kind of what I did the last first time meeting I had, , I want to. Kind of look at some principles for things, right? And you, you just mentioned many of these, right? , so here's what I think you should definitely do right now.
These are principles, they're not methods, right? So you should definitely walk in with a plan. Do not, do not, do not show up to that first disciple making meeting without a plan in mind of what you're gonna do. Now, that plan should obviously be, Prepared with God before God in prayer. Right. That you are taking it serious.
Right. What should I do, , with this? The second thing, and you just mentioned Tony, is remind them of the why. Yeah. Right. So you are, you are baking that in to the whole process. You're not bolting it on at different meetings, like you're baking it into the whole process. Hey, this is why we're doing it.
This is why we. And just keeping that in front of them really helps. , the third thing is you want to be a conversation, not a lecture. Right. It's relational. Now you didn't mention that necessarily, but I heard it. Sure. Right? Sure. Yeah. Because you are relational. Everything you do is relational. , and for those of us who are a little more intentional, maybe walking in with a plan is not hard, but making it a conversation or being intentional about that.
Doesn't come quite as naturally. And then the fourth thing is to focus on application. Tony, you didn't mention that, but I didn't ask you specifically either. So what do you do in that first meeting to to focus them on application? Well, in this particular case, because I knew that we are really trying to go down with.
Scripture. We started a reading plan together on the U version Bible app. Okay. Right. So it's, it's relational and it's intentional in the sense that I'll be able to track with him as we go down reading scripture together. It's a tool that I like, and again, it's a way that I can make sure that we get to.
, application because as we've said here before, right, information plus application equals transformation. Yeah. And so the best way to make sure that whoever you're discipling gets the scriptures is to read the scriptures with them, right? Yeah. That's awesome. That's awesome. All right, so the last person, the last first time meeting, I.
, it was just a few months ago, and here's what I did. I walked in knowing him and we'd known each other for a few years. Played basketball together for a few. But our interaction was pretty surfacey, right? We nev we weren't connected, , at a heart level for sure. , we were just more acquaintances or shallow friendship.
And so I felt God leading me to invite him into a discipling relationship. He was interested in that. So we're sitting down together for the first time, and as I am preparing and thinking about that first meeting, one of the things that God helped me to see is, , that this person was really intentional.
Now, if you're a very intentional person, you're about to disciple a very intentional person, some things are gonna go really easily and smoothly and naturally other things are gonna be hard. Hmm. Right. And so I knew, because of my experience, I knew one of the harder things for us would be to be connecting at a heart level.
And so my major plan in that meeting was relational. It was, I need to connect with him. I need to hear his story. I need to share my. I want to then intentionally move our conversation from just background and, you know, things that might come out as he's sharing about his upbringing and where he is been and life.
, I want to get it to spiritually. Where have you been? Tell me that story. Tell me, how did you end up sitting here in a meeting where you were about to enter into this disciple making relationship? Why do you want to do that? And then I also wanted to get into the gospel and I wanted to see kind of what his understanding of the gospel was.
Not just at a head level, but how did it come out of him as I was asking conversation, asking questions about him in about that in conversation, right? So how does the gospel come out? And as we were talking, , you know, I could tell that he had some clarity on a lot of the gospel, but there were some parts of it too that, that he wasn't sure about, or it didn't seem to me that he was sure about it.
And so I took him into the scriptures and we looked at, , first John five 11 and 12 Assurance of Salvation as one of the things that I've learned, that verse, and then I asked them to memorize it, and I asked him if he'd memorize it, and, and he memorized it right there. I said, Okay, the average person can memorize that in three minutes.
And then I said, He looked at me like, What are we doing here? And I was like, Look at my Time's ticket man. And so he starts to, to work on it. And I've, I've done this many times before. I don't do it all the time in a first meeting, but I've done it many times before. And, , at the end of those three minutes he had it.
And so that was kinda application. So from there, then as we walked out, I said, Well, hey, can I ask you about that verse again next time? He's like, So this is great. And so I said, Hey, don't just memorize. I want you to think about what it means and how it might make a difference in your life. And so that was kind of the first meeting at the end.
I asked for some things that I could be praying for him about, shared with him some things that he could be praying with me about, praying for me about, and then we prayed together. And so that was kind of the first meeting for. Yeah. I love that. I love the intentionality. One of the things that we talked about when we said we definitely want you to do this, is we talked about it being a conversation, not a lecture.
And this is that relational piece. And we get to that place when we are confident enough in the tools that we're bringing to the table. And so what I hear from your example, Justin, as you talked about this meeting, is that you were really prepared. and you're really comfortable with the material that you're presenting.
Mm-hmm. . So the more comfortable that you are, the easier it'll be to dive in and out. Right. And so I think of it like an airplane. Sometimes you're in the clouds, sometimes you're outta the clouds. What makes a really good teacher is when they understand the content enough that they don't have to kind of go off of their notes.
Mm-hmm. . So you have a. You kind of use the plan as a runway and then you take off and then you fly with the plan so that you can kind of move around in and out. Being relational, being intentional, and reminding them the whole time of why this is gonna happen. And then you land the plane really with application.
And I think it's a beautiful kind of journey when someone who is ready and prepared and knows it, understands it, not just memorizes it, but understand. That gives us a really good conversation to kind of jump off of and begin disciple making. Yeah, that is so good. So that, that, the importance of the tools, Right?
Right. And so if you're walking in and you don't have tools, well, first of all, you probably do and you don't realize it. Okay. If you are a disciple and you are spending time with Jesus day in and day out, there's a lot that you can talk about there, right? You can have a relational meeting, and then the intentional part of the meeting is you sharing part of what you got out of your quiet time over the past week and asking them to do the same.
If they're not having quiet times yet, well, guess what? That's a great time that you could introduce that concept to them and help teach them. Right? So the first meeting is really that first opportunity to move through the disciple maker's loop that we talked about a couple episodes ago. Teach 'em what?
Tell 'em why. Show 'em how. Get 'em started. Keep 'em going. Help 'em pass it on, Right? So that's something you can do. Another thing that you can do that I didn't do in this first meeting, but that I often will do is share the wheel. And if you've been listening, , for a while, you know that we talked about the wheel illustration in season two, episode 25, and that is a great place to start for many, many disciples that you are starting to work with.
Again, not everybody, but for a lot of people, that's a great place to start. Great opening conversation of what a disciple. One of the things I love about the wheel is that if you go back and listen to that episode, most of us who present the wheel, we number the spokes on the wheel one through four. And so when you get that one through four, what you really have is a very, that becomes a long range planning tool.
Mm-hmm. . So it's not just the first meeting. Now I've planned for, because I use the wheel in the first meeting, I'm now set for the next several. Months usually. Yeah. Yeah. As we try to attack prayer and scripture and fellowship and evangelism and what it means to be an obedient Christian. Yeah. And it, it, we are set up for that long because the goal in disciple making is not just teaching information.
It's application. Right, Right. And so just cuz we've talked about something, it doesn't mean we're ready to move on to the next thing. Right. We might need to stay in the conversation around quiet times for a few months. As they begin to develop that discipline and that habit in their life, and so keep that in mind.
That's something that a lot of young disciple makers miss. They think, Oh, well, I, we talked about that last time, so I gotta do something different this time. No, you need to work on teaching application, teaching them to obey. Yeah, I think it's really important. I'm not gonna rush the relationship and I'm not gonna rush the discipline, Right?
So I'm not gonna rush the relationship. I'm not gonna rush the, the discipline. So, The person is prepared to give it away. Mm-hmm. , Justin, our time's almost up today. Can you take us through our takeaway and action step? Yeah. So our takeaway today is every first meeting is your first meeting with that disciple, everyone.
It's the first one of that disciple. So you need to pray for late plan what you will do. It's almost as if every first time is the first time for you because it is, right? So every first meeting is the first meeting with that. Prayerfully plan what you can, what you will do with them. Action step. Write down an ideal plan that you can then adapt for your next first meeting.
So write down that ideal plan. If everything went great, if the disciple was exactly the type of person you would hope to disciple, what would you do in that first meeting? Then you can adapt from there. And you need to be aware as you're adapting who the person that you are discipling is how they're wired up to the best of your ability to know that.
Know that about yourself too, cuz that's gonna make a difference in how you disciple friends. We're super excited to be on this journey with you. We're thankful for the time today and we just continue to pray that you are out there having those first meetings. We get so excited. So hey, do me a favor, hit that subscribe button.
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